Journey Forth

9 November, 2008

Cheese

Neil’s Original Thought of the Day

Why is it that cheese has holes in it BEFORE you start eating it?

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26 October, 2008

Plants

Neil’s Original Thought of the Day

I’ve had this plant in the lounge for years – I’ve just found out it’s called a “mother in laws tongue”. My first thought was “It’s not red and spitting flames or venon”. Then I noticed it is very sharp with a spike at the tip.

25 September, 2008

Saving the Planet

Neil’s Original Thought of the Day – Saving the Planet  

How many people wear a tie nowadays?

Not many.

Yet every shirt and blouse has a top button.

Do away with the top button saving millions of tonnes carbon / fossil fuels!!

Coffee

Neil’s Original Thought of the Day – Coffee

What sort of coffee do they serve in ladies hairdressers?

I get my hair cut at the barbers for £7.00.

My wife and daughter have their hair cut for £30.00 each.

The only difference is that they get a cup of coffee.

What sort of coffee are they getting for £23.00????

Shoes

Neil’s Original Thought of the Day – Shoes

I am finding it really hard to find a stylish, modern pair of waterproof shoes, why don’t they make them out of fishskin or duck feathers?

12 September, 2008

Gardening

Neil’s Original Thought of the Day – Gardening

Now we’re paying thousands of pounds to have a Senior Police Officer on “Gardening Leave” – as a taxpayer, please can he come and do mine. Thank you.

11 September, 2008

Big Bang – Five

Neil’s Original Thought of the Day – Big Bang

If the apparatus to re-create the Big Bang is costing £5 billion, who paid for the first big bang?

Not an original thought – I heard it on Sarah Kennedy’s radio show this morning, but an interesting thought none the less.

Sarah Kennedy is on Radio 2, Monday to Friday, 6.00am to 7.30am. SWs to you!

Big Bang – Four

Neil’s Original Thought of the Day – Big Bang

When the universe was created, it was the “Big Bang” – Who heard it? – How do we know if it was a “little phutt” or a “tiny splut”?

Big Bang – Three

Neil’s Original Thought of the Day – Big Bang

They’ve spent £5 billion re-creating the big bang – I never heard it – did you?

Big Bang – Two

Neil’s Original Thought of the Day – Big Bang

If they can make a tiny particle travel at (almost) the speed of light around a 17 mile route (11,000 circuits per second), why can’t they make our buses and trains run on time?

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