Journey Forth

25 September, 2008

Saving the Planet

Neil’s Original Thought of the Day – Saving the Planet  

How many people wear a tie nowadays?

Not many.

Yet every shirt and blouse has a top button.

Do away with the top button saving millions of tonnes carbon / fossil fuels!!

Coffee

Neil’s Original Thought of the Day – Coffee

What sort of coffee do they serve in ladies hairdressers?

I get my hair cut at the barbers for £7.00.

My wife and daughter have their hair cut for £30.00 each.

The only difference is that they get a cup of coffee.

What sort of coffee are they getting for £23.00????

Shoes

Neil’s Original Thought of the Day – Shoes

I am finding it really hard to find a stylish, modern pair of waterproof shoes, why don’t they make them out of fishskin or duck feathers?

21 September, 2008

Gus – The Theatre Cat

Filed under: Cats,Children,Family,Funny Cats,Humour,Life,Poetry,Random,Thoughts — by Karen @ 4:58 pm

Gus is the Cat at the Theatre Door.
His name, as I ought to have told you before,
Is really Asparagus. That’s such a fuss
To pronounce, that we usually call him just Gus.
His coat’s very shabby, he’s thin as a rake,
And he suffers from palsy that makes his paw shake.
Yet he was, in his youth, quite the smartest of Cats–
But no longer a terror to mice and to rats.
For he isn’t the Cat that he was in his prime;
Though his name was quite famous, he says, in its time.
And whenever he joins his friends at their club
(Which takes place at the back of the neighbouring pub)
He loves to regale them, if someone else pays,
With anecdotes drawn from his palmiest days.
For he once was a Star of the highest degree–
He has acted with Irving, he’s acted with Tree.
And he likes to relate his success on the Halls,
Where the Gallery once gave him seven cat-calls.
But his grandest creation, as he loves to tell,
Was Firefrorefiddle, the Fiend of the Fell.

“I have played,” so he says, “every possible part,
And I used to know seventy speeches by heart.
I’d extemporize back-chat, I knew how to gag,
And I knew how to let the cat out of the bag.
I knew how to act with my back and my tail;
With an hour of rehearsal, I never could fail.
I’d a voice that would soften the hardest of hearts,
Whether I took the lead, or in character parts.
I have sat by the bedside of poor Little Nell;
When the Curfew was rung, then I swung on the bell.
In the Pantomime season I never fell flat,
And I once understudied Dick Whittington’s Cat.
But my grandest creation, as history will tell,
Was Firefrorefiddle, the Fiend of the Fell.”

Then, if someone will give him a toothful of gin,
He will tell how he once played a part in East Lynne.
At a Shakespeare performance he once walked on pat,
When some actor suggested the need for a cat.
He once played a Tiger–could do it again–
Which an Indian Colonel purused down a drain.
And he thinks that he still can, much better than most,
Produce blood-curdling noises to bring on the Ghost.
And he once crossed the stage on a telegraph wire,
To rescue a child when a house was on fire.
And he says: “Now then kittens, they do not get trained
As we did in the days when Victoria reigned.
They never get drilled in a regular troupe,
And they think they are smart, just to jump through a hoop.”
And he’ll say, as he scratches himself with his claws,
“Well, the Theatre’s certainly not what it was.
These modern productions are all very well,
But there’s nothing to equal, from what I hear tell,
That moment of mystery
When I made history
As Firefrorefiddle, the Fiend of the Fell.”

Another great favourite by TS Eliot

Cats Capers Again

 

 

 

 

 

 

Who’s beeen sleeping in my bed?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I’m getting abit hot under the collar!

 

 

 

 

 

 

I’ve got that sinking feeling!

If you like this post, see also:

*****BRAND NEW*****   Cats Again – Part Three

Dogs:-        It’s a Dogs Life?, Dogs – Canine Capers!, It’s a Dogs Life? Part Two, It’s a Dogs Life? Part Three 

Cats:-         Cats Capers!,  Cats Cuties! , Cats Capers – New Edition!! , Cats Cuties Part Two, Cats Capers Again, Cats Capers……..Revisited,  Cats at Large, Cats Again – Part One, Cats Again – Part Two, Cats Again – Part Three

Monkeys:-  Monkey Business – Part One, Monkey Business – Part Two, Monkey Business – Part Three

Hamsters:- You are the weakest link – Goodbye,

Cows:-       I like the way you mooooo-ve!

Pigs:-        Pigs Delight Part One

Chickens:- Chick chick chicken

Squirrels:- Dancing Squirrels

Daddy Fell into the Pond

Filed under: Family,Humour,Life,Poetry,Random,Thoughts — by Karen @ 6:10 am

Everyone grumbled. The sky was grey.
We had nothing to do and nothing to say.
We were nearing the end of a dismal day,
And then there seemed to be nothing beyond,
Then
Daddy fell into the pond!

And everyone’s face grew merry and bright,
And Timothy danced for sheer delight.
“Give me the camera, quick, oh quick!
He’s crawling out of the duckweed!” Click!

Then the gardener suddenly slapped his knee,
And doubled up, shaking silently,
And the ducks all quacked as if they were daft,
And it sounded as if the old drake laughed.
Oh, there wasn’t a thing that didn’t respond
When
Daddy Fell into the pond!

Alfred Noyes (1880 – 1958)

Born in Wolverhampton. This is one of his more lighter hearted poems. Many are serious with a religous focus.

This is a poem I wasn’t at all familiar with. Stumbling across it today, I found it amusig and enjoyable. What do you think?

20 September, 2008

Samphire

There are two types of samphire – rock and marsh. Marsh samphire is more commonly available. It grows in the tidal zone, on muddy, sandy flats, often around estuaries and tidal creeks. It has vibrant green stalks, looking like a cactus without the spikes. Pick it yourself or purcahase it from your fishmonger. It has a distinctinctive crisp and salty flavour. It has a high Vitamin C content, aids digestion and relieves flatulence. It can be eaten raw in salads or lightly boiled. It is frequently served with fish.

My favourite method of preparing: Samphire

Check your samphire, removing all the root and any tough stems. Wash and rinse it thoroughly, to remove of any grit and sand, and break up larger, multi-branched pieces into their smaller pieces. Bring to the boil a large pan of fresh, salted water, drop in the samphire and cook for three to four minutes. Drain, season with pepper, toss with the butter and a little olive oil, and serve at once.

12 September, 2008

Gardening

Neil’s Original Thought of the Day – Gardening

Now we’re paying thousands of pounds to have a Senior Police Officer on “Gardening Leave” – as a taxpayer, please can he come and do mine. Thank you.

11 September, 2008

Big Bang – Five

Neil’s Original Thought of the Day – Big Bang

If the apparatus to re-create the Big Bang is costing £5 billion, who paid for the first big bang?

Not an original thought – I heard it on Sarah Kennedy’s radio show this morning, but an interesting thought none the less.

Sarah Kennedy is on Radio 2, Monday to Friday, 6.00am to 7.30am. SWs to you!

Big Bang – Four

Neil’s Original Thought of the Day – Big Bang

When the universe was created, it was the “Big Bang” – Who heard it? – How do we know if it was a “little phutt” or a “tiny splut”?

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